I don't want to do a movie review this month. Why? Because I have a life (don't worry, it won't last long) and haven't watched any movies lately, good or bad. Except my cheesy Christmas movies, and I'm NOT talking about those. They are private. So hush.
What I will talk about is a recent T.V. series I binged in two days with Moviegoer Grim. We both wanted to see it, so we waited until we could watch it together. It's more fun picking on something when you do it with someone. You just look crazy talking to the T.V. on your own, and I won't look crazy.
So the T.V. series I am dancing around is called IT: Welcome To Derry.
What can I say about this show? How about I need therapy? Holy shit? What the hell?
Just to warn you, before you read any further, if you are planning on watching it, this article will have spoilers. Oh, so many spoilers. So, if you don't want them, stop reading. You've been warned.
Ok, now that we have that out of the way, this is your trigger warning. If you have issues with graphic stuff, go away. Yes, I put the spoiler alert before the trigger warning because the spoiler crowd will come after me faster than the trigger warning folks; they are vicious!
So, Welcome to Derry is the story about IT, how he came into being, what IT actually is, and why he looks like a damn creepy clown.
The first episode sees us watching a young boy hiding out in a movie theatre, from the black eye, we know he is hiding from someone, we later learn it's his abusive father. Immediate soft spot for poor little Matty. Anyway, he is watching The Music Man, at the song part, you know the one, "There's trouble, right here in River City." My Mom and I sing it all the time, now…yeah, it is a traumatic song.
So, Matty decides he is going to skip town, get away from his dad, hide from his embarrassing attempt at a first kiss, and he hitches a ride with a perfect-looking family. Too perfect. No one is THAT HAPPY. You start to get a sense that things aren't quite on the up and up when the young daughter starts fingering a container of liver soaking in blood. Matty, who has a penchant for sucking on a baby pacifier, pushes himself as close to the window as possible. Then it gets really creepy, and he asks to be let out when he realizes they are driving back into Derry. Wrestling with the steering wheel ensues, and Momma slams into the door of the car. Did I mention she was pregnant? Well, in what can only be called the best birth control I've ever seen, she gives birth right there in the front seat, while Dad keeps driving. You don't miss a thing, from the blood-stained panties to the 'baby', and I use that term loosely, bursts out of her nether regions with such a force that blood spews everywhere. The winged freak with two heads leaps around the car while the 'family' tries to welcome it. The last we see of Matty, he is smashed into the glass window, and his pacifier flies out the busted glass and into the sewer.
That's the opening scene before the opening credits.
I froze mid-bite of my dinner. Moviegoer Grim dropped his phone into this meal.
Damn.
The rest of the episode is a bit tamer…sort of…there is that nasty theatre scene.
But each episode promises some sort of gory scene brought on by IT. Every single one.
Now, episode two dragged a bit, as they hadn't really explained the Military connection, so it felt out of place when they flashed to the military family. But by the fourth episode, you have a very clear picture.
I will say, taking out most of the main characters in the first episode lets you know, up front, that no one is safe, nothing is off limits, and you better buckle up, buttercup.
I could go into detail for each episode, but I won't. Go watch it for yourself. In the dark, alone. See if you can do it.
I dare you.
Cya at the next bit of whatever,
Sarcastically Cynical Sally