“Very well,” said the king, “you may measure the royal foot.” So he took off his boot and he took off his sock, and there was the foot, exactly one foot long. But it had been so long since Harry had visited him that he forgot that he had let Harry measure his right foot, and now he gave Janet his left foot to measure.

(Now it so happened that King John’s right foot was much longer than his left foot. While his right foot was a very long foot, his left foot was only a slightly long foot. This fact went undiscovered for some time.)

So Janet made marks on her stick, thanked the king, then traveled from town to town throughout the kingdom charging half a penny to any clients who would copy the marks from her stick, so they would know just exactly how long a foot is.

But one day, Janet came to a town that Harry had visited before, and one of her clients said, “I used Harry’s measure, and it said that my hut is twelve feet long. But, using your measure, my hut is eighteen feet long. I think you never saw the king’s foot at all. I think you are a cheat, a liar, and a fraud, and I will send to the sheriff of this shire to have you put in jail!”

Janet said, “Have you considered that Harry’s marks may be wrong, and mine right?”

The client said “Perhaps that is so. You both claim to have visited the king, to have seen the royal foot, to have made marks on a stick from his toe to his heel. So what shall we do to resolve this trade dispute?”

Then Janet said, “I will find Harry, and we will see who is right!” So she rode off and sought him out.

“Harry,” she said when they met, “we must take our sticks and go to the palace. We will go to the king together. Together we will measure his foot, and find out who is right. And, to make it more interesting, shall we put five guineas upon the outcome?”

And Harry looked at Janet, and said, “Why not?”

So they journeyed to the capital together and went to the king. They appeared before him, and together they said, “O great sire, we need to look at your foot, because we have both measured your foot, and we have come up with different measures, and no one in the kingdom knows how long a foot is any more: some people use Harryfeet and some use Janetfeet.”

But the king became very angry and said “Enough of this! It ill befits the royal dignity for me to take my boots and socks off three times in two years. Besides, it is winter and the palace is drafty and cold. I don’t think I want my foot measured anymore. You will just have to solve your problems between yourselves. Now, Begone!”

So Harry and Janet went their separate ways. All over the kingdom confusion reigned and fights broke out because there were two different measures called “foot.” The man who said “My hut is twelve feet long” now had to say “in Janetfeet, of course. In Harryfeet, my hut is eighteen feet long.”

Now after a time, the king again became weary of the fights and confusions, and jealous of the money Harry and Janet were making. So one day he called to his courtier, Lord Reggie Toadie, and said “Let us measure the royal foot together, and let us make plaster copies of it, and let us establish a Royal Institute for Standards and Technology to make and sell the plaster copies of my foot for three pence, which is quite a bit more than half a penny. And let us decree that no one can use either Harryfeet or Janetfeet anymore. And let us divide the resulting handsome and well-deserved profit between ourselves, just you and me.”

Lord Reggie Toadie agreed, because if he would not agree with the king, he would not be a courtier very long, nor a lord, either.

So they took off the king’s boots and socks, and they discovered that the king’s right foot was half again as long as his left foot. “Which foot shall we use?” asked Lord Reggie Toadie.
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