"You're finally awake."

The girl lay in her bed. The world around her was spinning. Her head was throbbing. She moved a cold hand to her forehead as she glanced around the room. A woman in white clothes stood to her left, a clipboard in her arms, a contempt smile upon her lips.

"How are you feeling?" the woman asked.

"I… I don't…" the girl stuttered as she tried to think.

"You don't remember?"

"I…"

The woman beside her was still smiling, even when the girl turned away.

"Don't be afraid." The woman spoke in a calming voice. "It's natural to not remember some things after taking a hit like that."

The girl turned back; her eyes widened in curiosity. "Hit?"

"You don't remember that either?"

"I don't remember anything; wait-" the girl sat up suddenly as realization dawned across her face. Turning to the woman beside her she asked, "who am I?"

The woman, who identified herself as Nurse Shannon, stood outside the room. She already explained the situation to the girl the best way she could; apparently her name was Chloe, and she had taken a heavy hit to the head while playing sports. Now she didn't remember anything, not her family, interests, friends, even her own name she had forgotten. The nurse was very patient with her as she tried to remember.

"You don't remember anything?" she would say calmly; to which Chloe would shake her head with sadness.

Now Chloe lay upright upon the hospital bed. The nurse was outside informing several people about her condition. Amnesia. That was the word she used to describe her memory loss.

The door opened and the nurse came back in, followed by three other people. They each identified themselves as the Chloe's brother, a friend from school, and someone who was her boyfriend.

"You were always doing stuff in your room; almost as if you were trying to work harder than I was." The brother would say with a calm expression.

"We always loved how athletic you were in sports." The friend would say, with reassurance in her voice.

"You almost never smiled when we were together," the boyfriend would explain "it was as if you were unsure of something."

Amazing, Chloe would think to herself. Three different people, and three completely different personalities to who I was.

They would sit together in the hospital room for hours every day. Each day brought new information about who she was from the perspectives of those around her.

She learned that she was passionate about her studies and was well liked by those at school. She had an image of success wherever she walked. She excelled in sports and was captain of the volleyball team.

Yet she was also anti-social towards her family, often secluding herself within her room, cutting herself off from the outside world.

She would have no difficulties expressing herself to others at times, yet when it was with her boyfriend, she was silent, as if always thinking deeply to herself.

For several days this pattern went on. With little success. Memories of who she once was were not coming back to her. Even with all these stories about who she was, she felt uneasiness swell within her. The person in the stories just didn't feel like her.

Looking back over the notes the nurse had written for her, based on the stories she was told by those who visited, Chloe began to feel more lost than ever before. She wanted to return to who she once was; but one question continued to rage within herself.

Who is the ideal me

Looking over the pages in her hand she perceived multiple versions of herself.

"Which of these is the 'true' me?"

The pages fell to her lap as she sat against the pillows. Twisting she stared at the device her brother had brought her. He called it a projector. Reaching forward she grabbed the object off the table and placed it against her lap. Clicking off the lights with the controls on her bedside remote, she flicked the projector's switch.

Stars filled the dimly lit room. A deep interest in space had apparently been a powerful interest of hers. According to her brother, when she was alone, she would gaze towards the stars, as if searching for something among them.

It was ironic. She had apparently been searching for something she once knew about. Now she was searching for something else, yet she did not know what she searched for. She turned to look back over the pages in her legs.

"Who should I become in order to continue living my life?" Closing her eyes Chloe drifted off into a quiet sleep among the stars.

The nurse came in early to check on her the next morning. Chloe had already scribbled and glanced over the notes she had written; but nothing new came to her. The words on the page were nonsense, even to her.

"Um…maybe there are photos or messages in your phone?" Nurse Shannon suggested as she took Chloe's breakfast tray away.

"I tried looking, but it's locked and needs a password. See."

"Four digits, maybe it's a date, have you tried your birthday?"

"Someone mentioned it to me, but I tried it, and that didn't work."

"Humm…It will be difficult to figure it out without some kind of hint."

"You're right."

"Well, it hasn't been long since you regained consciousness, please don't feel like you have to rush it." Nurse Shannon said as she turned to depart the room.

"Even now, I still want to stay by your side Chloe," her boyfriend said to her. "You don't need to change anything about yourself, go on as you are. I only want to be the one by your side."

Chloe's face turned back to sadness as she spoke her next words, "Right now I don't know who I am myself. I feel as if I have to choose who I want to be from here on out, yet I don't know how to go about doing that. I have no memories after all."

That night Chloe lay down on her bed with the covers over her entire body. Trying to think about who she was, who she is. No memories about who she once was were returning to her though. She felt so lost as waves of uncertainty shot through her body.

Who am I?

What was my life before all this?

How will I find who I am?

She hugged the sheets tightly, their warm embrace doing nothing to sooth her shaking body. They were soft yet, like the empty mind within herself, she felt their softness slowly slip away as her tired eyes wearily closed.

The hustle of daily hospital events echoed through the door. Nurses and doctors arriving for another round of their healing duties. The sound of wheels and painful cries woke her from her near fully rested state. Light streaked in from the gap between the blinds. Forcing her eyes closed as the rays blinded her vision.

Why can't the blinds here be designed to not have that gap between them?

Chloe turned away as the view of her room came back into sight. The flowers on her bedside table still bloomed. It was a welcoming sight. A few post cards sat piled beside the vase, she reached forward and retrieved the small pile.

Her classmates had all signed the first one. Some wrote words of encouragement like "get well soon" and "we all miss you."

She did not remember any of the people from her class based on the names written down. Only one of them, Josh who had come to visit her, was a name she could put a face to. However, it was a face she had awoken to, and not one which brought any memories back to her mind, so it was almost useless to get anything valuable from these names.

The other cards were from family and people who claimed to know who she was. She had spoken to a few of them since she awoke, yet they too did nothing to help her.

The door opened and the nurse entered the room.

"Nothing new today huh?" She said as she noticed Chloe's depressed image.

Chloe shook her head.

The nurse came over to check the flowers.

"Looks like these need more water," she said as she gazed into the vase.

"Those are hibiscus flowers, right?"

"Right, do you like them?"

"I like their colors."

"Which is your favorite?"

"Um…I think the pure red ones."

"Okay, I'll remember that, maybe we can get some more of those for you. Oh, almost forgot, you have a visitor this morning. Would you like to talk to them?"

Chloe remained silent. The nurse waited patiently.

"Sure, although I don't know if they will help."

The nurse walked over to the door to inform the visitor they could come in, once she had, she strolled over to the hospital chart on the end of Chloe's bed. Chloe turned to the door, her boyfriend stood in the entrance, a small smile upon his face.

"Hey Josh," Chloe said.

"Hey, you remembered my name," he replied.

"You were here the other day too."

Josh came and sat down on the chair beside the bed as the nurse put the clipboard down.

"Would you like some fruit this morning Chloe?" The nurse asked.

"Sure, thanks."

"Be right back."

The nurse left the room, leaving Chloe and Josh alone. Chloe turned to Josh who continued to look at her.

"Do you remember anything new?" He asked

"Nothing."

Josh turned away for a moment, Chloe noticed.

"Did we have a good relationship?" She asked.

"You were often quiet, not very talkative, but you showed your vulnerable side. The side you never allowed anyone else to see. When at school you always had this image of the perfect person. Smart, pretty, sociable, yet when you were with me you were so much more mysterious."

"Mysterious?"

"You were fragile, sad, even scared of what others thought of you. Always concerned about something, but never sure of what that was."

Chloe sat still, after a moment she turned away.

"You don't have to be scared," Josh said.

"But, this person I am, it's not the real me."

"I still admire the person you are."

Chloe turned to Josh who smiled as she looked at him.

"You don't have to force yourself to change. You can just be you."

Chloe put on a smile, she hoped it didn't look to worrisome.

Josh got up, "I have to go to school now. I hope you feel better soon."

"Josh."

"Yes Chloe," he said as he turned around.

"This date that's circled on this calendar, do you know what its significance is?"

She held up the calendar her brother had brought her, it was filled with circles and notes about exam dates and volleyball game times.

"This is the only date which doesn't have anything written down." Chloe explained as she pointed to the date in question.

"March 18th?" Josh replied, "That's my birthday, I think you circled it so you wouldn't forget it."

Chloe hung her head, "so it's already passed."

"Don't worry about it, we can celebrate when you get out of here, okay."

"Okay, thanks Josh,' Chloe replied with her false smile.

Once Josh left the room Chloe retrieved her phone from the bedside table."0-3-1-8" the phone unlocked, and a photo album opened on screen.

Hehe, that was the password? She chuckled.

Looking through the photos she once more saw various versions of herself. She saw herself standing with other people in sports uniforms, concerts she had been to, places around her schoolyard. Some of the images spoke of friendship. Others, isolation, and loneliness. Almost has if she longed for something more.

These don't help me at all, she locked the phone and put it down, if anything they only make it worse.

Night came sooner than she wanted it to. The emptiness in her head kept her up late into the evening. She didn't have any other visitors during the day, so she sat with her notebook and tried to think.

"Having trouble sleeping?"

Chloe looked up and saw the nurse closing the door to her room.

"Sorry, I knocked but you didn't answer, thought I should check on you."

"Oh, yeah, I'm okay." Chloe responded.

"If you want to talk, I can be a wall for you."

"Thank you, but I'm fine."

Chloe sat in silence for a moment, then suddenly the nurse lightly bonked her on the head.

"What was that for!?"

"You know its easy to tell when you're lying."

"Huh?"

"You curl your hair with your finger when you're upset or worried. Did you not notice?"Chloe looked down, sure enough, her right index finger was curled around the hair which ran down the side of her body.

"So," the nurse said looking deep into her eyes, "what's going on?"

"I'm… afraid. Afraid of not knowing who I am. Of knowing who I was." She turned to look at the nurse. "What kind of person was I before?"

"I don't know," She replied.

"You don't know. Then what should I do?"

The nurse took a long stare at Chloe her before she said her next words.

"You have heard many different things about yourself from those who visit you. So much so that it is more painful than helpful. You may feel like you have to pick one personality among so many; base that person only on the stories you hear."

Chloe hung her head, "If that's true, then how do I choose?"

"Is there really a need to make that choice?"

Chloe raised her head to stare back at the nurse.

"I don't know anything about you, other than the interactions we have had here. But, I think that through these I have learned a great deal about you."

"You have?"

"I know what books you enjoy reading; what kind of music moves you, even what kind of flowers you like. And I think to myself, "I don't know anything more about Chloe than the person who is 'Chloe.'"

"But…I have to choose someone to be, don't I? Because I have no memories."

"Is that so?"

"Yes."

"But…don't you think all the interactions you have had since you woke up; can't those help you shape the person you want to be?"

Chloe's eyes widened. "The person I want to be?"

"You don't need to be a person who is solely based on past memories, who is the person you want to be here and now?"

Chloe stared for a moment as she considered the nurse's words. "I want…I want to be myself; I want to learn about myself from my own experiences. I…I want to make new memories."

The nurse smiled back at her. "That's good Chloe."

"But where do I start?"

"That's something only you can know."

The nurse got up and left the room. Leaving Chloe alone with the one and only person who could tell her who she truly was.

I thought everyone wanted me to be someone they once knew. My old self.

She grabbed the projector and looked into the lens.

It never occurred to me that the person I am now, could be important to who I can become.

Turning on the projector, she stared at the starry sky.

"Only I know…huh."

She smiled for real, as the memory formed within the stars.

-