1001 crawled out from Tim's laptop's USB port.

"Oh, hello there, you look new," Tim said. "And you look terrible…"

1001 was a gremlin, a ghost in the machine, and the very creature who ate your data if you did not have raw chicken lying around. Gremlins survive on raw chicken, but they find juicy stories on electronic devices to be like candy; sweet, tasty, and so addictive.

"Y0u've g0t n0 1dea, buddy," said 1001.

Like all gremlins, she spoke in binary, but like some of her kind who had contacted the data creators, 1001 had managed to teach herself a basic grasp of other languages.

Holding up a claw, requesting Tim not talk for a moment, 1001 suddenly vomited and a pool of crackling, but clear liquid oozed in clumps from her jaws to stain the table upon where she stood. It bubbled, burning the lacquer like acid.

"Eww…" murmured Tim, the sound laced with sympathy. Then… "Hey! Is that the end of a USB?"

He reached for a cleaning cloth and some citrus based cleaner. With gentle tenderness he tried to get the little creature to shuffle to one side. 1001 remained where she stood, suffering from obvious stomach cramps.

"1 had to eat s0meth1ng… 1 c0uldn't stand the taste 0f that nasty f1le fr0m the palace f0r a sec0nd l0nger than 1 had t00…" the gremlin explained.

"My stories…" moaned Tim. "Years of work all gone…"

"Surely y0u've g0t backups?" suggested the gremlin. "Just l1ke 1 h0pe they have backups f0r that nasty f1le."

"What have you been eating?" Tim asked, innocently, not sure if he wanted to know the answer.

"1've been to L0nd0n and Wash1ngt0n… 1t's easy t0 travel v1a the web… 1t g0es anywhere and everywhere…"

"Did you go and visit the queen?" Tim joked, giving 1001 a smile.

"Ser10usly? Y0u kn0w that they have a k1ng now, r1ght?" said the gremlin, claws crossed and giving Tim a very concerned look.

"Oh yeah," said Tim. "I knew that."

"Well, what 1 bet y0u d1dn't kn0w 1s that the new k1ng has just l0st a pr1nce…"

"Lost a prince?" Tim asked. "How do you lose a prince?"

"Well, n0t s0 much l0st, m0re just n0t a pr1nce anym0re… And 1t wasn't the f1rst t1me th1s had happened… 0nly that 0ther t1me 1t was a k1ng wh0 st0pped be1ng a k1ng…" the gremlin tried to explain. "And he wanted t0 qu1t… The k1ng that 1s… N0t the pr1nce… 1 d0n't th1nk that guy wanted t0 qu1t… He just g0t t0ld 1t was happen1ng…"

Tim tried to process this and failed.

"Handy Andy… S0meth1ng ab0ut s0me Amer1can fr1end… And the dec1s10n was made that he can't be a pr1nce anym0re…"

The pause was deafening.

"We'll anyway, 1 was d1gest1ng all 0f the ju1cy deta1ls wh1le the wh0le th1ng was be1ng f1nal1sed and the m0re 1 ate and the m0re 1 heard the w0rse 1 began to feel…" added 1001, giving a shrug of her tiny shoulders.

"So, you came here and decided to vomit on my table?" asked Tim. "Hey, are you talking about Prince Andrew?"

"Well… He's n0t a pr1nce anym0re… 1'm sure that y0u'll read all ab0ut 1t 1n the news t0m0rr0w…" suggested 1001. "1f they can f1nd the backup c0py 0f the f1le…"

"I'll see if I have any chicken for you," said Tim, headed toward the kitchen. "I don't want you eating any other stories."

"1 d0n't th1nk 1 c0uld f1t 1n an0ther word," agreed 1001. "What 1 c0uld really d0 w1th 1s a d0nut."

"What do you want a donut for?" asked Tim.

"1t 1s h0w we greml1ns clear 0ur palettes, w1pe the slate clean y0u c0uld say…" said 1001.

"I'm almost certain that I've got a donut or two just here on the kitchen bench," Tim offered, rummaging around between the bread and the tins containing coffee, tea and sugar. "Yes, here they are, a few days old but still good."

"N0… N0… N0t that kind 0f d0nut," laughed 1001. "A mem0ry swipe… Y0u kn0w… A defrag f0r the memory bank…"

"So, not a sweet, bread-like confectionary?" said Tim.

"D0 y0u have any 0J?" asked 1001.

Tim found a thimble and added a couple of drops of orange juice concentrate, concentrating as he poured.

"Thanks," said 1001. "The ac1d 1s weak en0ugh t0 n0t d0 any ser10us damage, but str0nge en0ugh t0 help me f0rget."

"It sounds like you've been through quite a bit these past few weeks though," said Tim. "What do gremlins do when a donut doesn't work?"

"When we really need a d1stract10n we d0 what y0u do," said 1001.

"And what's that?" asked Tim, truly curious this time. "What do we do to distract ourselves from the world around us?"

Just before 1001 could answer, he worked it out for himself.

"D0nut w0rry, be App-y," said the gremlin.

"Of course," laughed Tim. "You jump online and immerse yourself in a mindless app."

"L1terally, we d0 just that," agreed the little creature, taking another sip from the thimble. "0f c0urse we d0n't jump t00 high, y0u humans w0uld pr0bably n0t1ce we were there 1f greml1ns g0t t00 exc1ted…"

"Yeah, even the most distracted of us would notice a bouncing creature on our screens even at our tiredest or least focused," Tim agreed.

"0h we d0n't l00k l1ke th1s," said 1001. "We usually appear 1n the shape 0f a b0nus 0r jackp0t… S0meth1ng helpful 0r upl1ft1ng…"

"I think I get it," said Tim after a moment of pondering upon this new information. "Those moments in our games when things go right… That's you…"

"Well, n0t 0nly me…" admitted 1001. "But th0se m0ments 0f j0y, th0se h1ts of d0pam1ne y0u humans seem to crave every sec0nd 0f every day… Yeah… When y0u get it fr0m s0mewhere 0nline that's us hard at w0rk…"

"Wow! Thanks," said Tim. "You're all doing a great job."

"N0 w0rr1es," said 1001.

"I'll remember that next time I need a pick-me-up," said Tim. "D0nut w0rry, be app-y."

-