The World of Myth Magazine

I wasn't planning on doing a movie review for this issue, but since Steph called me out on her podcast, I kinda have to now. It just so happens that I have seen a couple of flicks that I can review, and one is even a holiday film to boot! So, like our editor-in-chief, after making her igloo in that Winter Wasteland known as Canada, let's get into it, eh?

First on the list is one film that I was challenged to watch by Stephanie in her WHAT THE HELL DID I JUST WATCH podcast called Smile. Now, I am all aboot scary movies, so I was like a moose after seeing another moose quarter of a kilometer way and thought, Why not, I can tackle it.

To be completely honest, I had this movie on my watch list and almost bought the 4K disc at Target the other night, but it wasn't Drew Carey, and the price wasn't right, so I passed like a village bicycle. Since I am being honest here, I will admit that other than the reviews made by other film critics and the creepy post of the woman smiling, that was all I knew aboot the film.

So, I found that Paramount plus was streaming it, and according to their write-up aboot it, it explains that after witnessing a bizarre, traumatic incident involving a patient, Dr. Rose Cotter started experiencing frightening occurrences that she can't explain. So, Rose must confront her troubling past to survive and escape her horrifying new reality. Sounds pretty good, eh? So, I pushed play.

Immediately I felt the Asian (specifically Japanese) overtones in the visual presentation of the film. Here in the States, when it comes to horror movies, we typically use color tones that are darker and more unnerving, whereas, in Japan, they use bright, vibrant colors against a dull setting—that was precisely what I saw in Smile.

I did a quick internet search and found that the movie was not based on a Japanese Horror film, but rather a short film from the same director, Parker Finn, called Laura Hasn't Slept. So okay, I assumed that his style of filmmaking was adopted from Asian Cinema a moved on with the film.

In this incarnation of the film, the lead is Rose, who lost her mother to suicide when she was young, and in that, because a doctor of psychology works at a mental hospital. Where is presumed that she works with mentally ill people on a daily basis, but she meets Laura (I'm not sure if it is the same from the short film, but I assumed so), who comes into the place and is soon face to face with Doctor Rose.

Now, this is where it begins to fall apart for me. Rose is a doctor that works in a Mental hospital, and again, I am assuming that she has dealt with, well, you know, mentally ill patients before. So, the scene drags for a bit, and finally, Laura grabs a shard and slices her own throat while she wears a disturbing smile in the process.

This freaks Dr. Rose the "F" out, eh!

She went down like it was the most disturbing thing she had ever laid witness to in her life and soon was forced to take a sabbatical from practicing medicine for, you know, mentally ill patients. This woman was on edge and was deeply scared and freaked the "F" out during said moments of fear.

Then, her boyfriend came on the scene, and by this time, it was at the forty-four-minute mark, and I tapped out. I couldn't do it! I could not finish the film! There was still over an hour left for the film, and I was bored to tears! At this point in the movie, the audience should be invested in your protagonist. Honestly, I wanted her to hurry up and die so the damn movie would be over!

I have seen some bad movies in my time, but this really takes the cake! So, on a score of half a star being the worst to five being the best, I award nothing. ZERO. Zilch. Nada. It was beyond horrible, and it was freaking boring as hell! I wanna know how in God's name, does big steamy piles of crap like this get financed?

Sincerely?

I know; typically, I say, go check it out and tell me your thoughts, but this time—don't do it! You will thank me later!

Moving from the steamy pile of crap to a winter wondrous feature, we take a look at the sequel to the 1983 holiday classic The Christmas Story called The Christmas Story Christmas! We travel to the 1970s, where little Ralphie has grown up and become a starving author as he attempts to sell his two thousand-page manuscript in time for the holidays. It is during this time it is learned that his father dies unexpectedly, and Ralphie decides to pack his wife and two kids to return to the house on Cleveland Street to give his kids a magical Christmas like the one he had as a child, reconnecting with childhood friends, and reconciling the passing of his Old Man.

What a fun story that was told in this film, to see other original characters return to play their parts from almost forty years ago. This is one of those films you should see with the entire family as each age group can appropriate it for different aspects.

I loved the idea that Ralphie grew up to be a writer and that his life was portrayed as some hardship that he did not grow up as a megastar or some nonsense. It felt genuine and honest for those of us who realized we were writers and wanted to make a go of that talent. But, beyond that, how the character took the good upbringing to be a stable parent and had some fantastic scenes that will make you smile from ear to ear (pun intended).

For this effort and execution of The Christmas Story Christmas, I award it four Christmas-filled stars and suggest to everyone, young and old, to give it a watch!

All right, boys, and girls, may whatever holiday you celebrate be joyous!

Until Next time,
I remain…

Moviegoer Grim

See you next month, Folks!