A Bloody Good Christmas Surprise
By: Peggy Gerber
“Guess what I got you for Christmas, honey,” Amber crooned as her husband sipped his morning cup of 0+.
Damien’s face lit up as he started to think. He loved guessing games. “Is it that new video game, Vampire in Space, that I’ve been wanting?”
“Guess again,” said Amber, her grin growing wider.
Damien closed his eyes in concentration, “Is it the big screen tv that was on sale at Walmart? You know I’ve wanting a big screen TV. Please tell me you got there early enough to buy it.”
“Wrong again,” laughed Amber as she skipped over to the Christmas tree. She bent down and retrieved a small box wrapped up in the Sunday comics.
Damien’s face fell when he saw the tiny box. He tried to force a smile onto his face to hide his disappointment but failed miserably.
Undeterred by her husband’s reaction, Amber handed the gift to Damien and told him to open it. Her eyes were dancing with anticipation as she watched him slowly rip off the paper and open the box. When Damian peered inside, he began to furrow his eyebrows. He pulled out a small stick with two pink lines on it and said, “Honey, this looks like that COVID test you took after your sister’s wedding. Is this your way of telling me that you tested positive for COVID. That’s a horrible present.”
“No, you dummy” laughed Amber, “it is a pregnancy test. Your Christmas gift is that I am going to have a baby.”
Damien began scratching his head, his face a mask of confusion. He said,”I thought you told me that vampires and humans couldn’t get pregnant.” Damien clenched his jaw and hissed, “Amber, do you have something to tell me?”
Amber punched Damien in the arm and glared at him until he looked down at the floor. She took a calming breath and said, “In the old days, doctors didn’t know anything about hybrid pregnancies and came to some false conclusions. Now that vampires have come out of the closet, a lot more research has been done and we know the facts.” Amber gushed, “I’m twelve weeks along and I’ve already had my first ultrasound.”
She reached into her pocket, pulled out a black and white photo and handed it to Damien. “Look she said. The baby is perfectly healthy. The DNA test came out a little funky, but the doctor told me that’s normal for hybrids.”
Damien pouted, “Why did you wait so long to tell me? I would have liked to have gone to that first ultrasound.”
Amber sighed, “I wanted to make sure this pregnancy was going to stick. You know how you get when you’re agitated. I might have had to lock you in your coffin for a week.”
Damien shrugged and wrapped his arms around his wife. He gave her a bear hug, and bubbled, “This is amazing news. I kind of thought you were getting a little fat, but I didn’t want to say anything. I am so happy.”
Amber punched Damien in the arm again, this time harder, and yelled, “Fat is a four letter word. I never want to hear that word come out of your mouth again, especially since we are having a daughter.” She grumbled, “For heaven’s sake Damien, “You’re two hundred and fifty-nine years old and still don’t know a thing about women.”
Damien began rubbing his sore arm and letting the good news sink in.” So, we’re having a girl?”
“We’re having a girl” laughed Amber. Merry Christmas, honey.”
“Merry Christmas.”
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