Penance
Part Nineteen
What have you done?
By: Stephanie J. Bardy

After their attack, Adrian grew quiet. He stopped sending messengers and Reese could no longer feel his energy hovering around the fringes of their boundaries. She desperately wanted to breath a sigh of relief, but she knew better. The minute, the second she let her guard down, would be the instant he would strike. She didn’t think for a moment that he wasn’t keeping tabs on them; he was just a bit more cautious now. Licking his wounds and regrouping, she was sure.
She had been standing at the window looking out at the street for so long that the sun had set and the room behind her was bathed in shadow. The streetlights had started to flicker and come on, giving the street outside a movie set appearance. The soft amber always made things feel a more fantasy than reality, to Reese. She still hadn’t gotten used to electricity. She had spent so many centuries by candlelight that she still preferred the glow it gave in the dark. She heard a click behind her, and light instantly filled the room. She gave a sigh and turned away from the window. Tiana was just settling herself on the couch with an armful of books.
“Some light reading?” Reese asked a smile playing across her lips. The two had scoured almost every book they could get their hands on in all of New Orleans. Anything on old magic, blood magic, ancient deities or things that go bump in the night, they read, looking for some way, some clue to take out Adrian. Maybe even a hint at to what he was. If they could figure out how he did what he did, how he even existed, then they would unravel his power.
“These just came into the library. Monica called me this afternoon to tell me they had arrived. You seemed lost in thought, staring out the window, so I let you be and went and picked them up. If I had of known you would still be at the window, I would have poked you before I left.” She squinted at Reese, “You ok?”
Reese opened her mouth to give Tiana her standard answer, but when she saw the genuine concern in her eyes, she changed her mind.
“No. I’m angry. Beyond, angry. I’m frustrated that this is taking so long, and Marlon is suffering at Adrian’s hand, I am angry at myself that I put him in that position because I just needed to be with him one more time, I’m angry that my emotion got the better of me, that I allowed it too. I…I…I miss him. More than I ever thought possible. I had always believed that I was better off alone, but that I kept him around because he was useful. When I locked us away, I told myself it was to serve a purpose, he would enact the punishment I chose for myself. I took his ability to refuse me away from him. He objected but he couldn’t stop himself. It served my needs, and that was all that mattered. When we emerged this time, when he convinced me that I had paid enough, that I had suffered enough and to step out into the sunlight, I told myself I needed him as a go between to navigate this new world. The night I left him, I felt something I never had. My heart broke. The night he died; I knew. I loved him. I kept him with me for that reason. I also knew, he loved me. But somewhere, I already knew that.”
Reese sat on the couch beside Tiana and put her head in her hands. She took a shaky breath and Tiana saw something on Reese’s face when she lifted and looked at her, that broke her heart. It was a sadness so deep, so real, it radiated from her eyes, it trembled along the line of her lips and quivered in her chin, as she did all she could to hold back the tears she refused to shed.
As Reese looked at her friend, because that is what Tiana had become, she noticed a shiny bit of garland in her hair and her whole demeanor changed. Tiana pulled back just a bit, instantly wary. Reese’s moods could be unpredictable and when she was feeling intense emotion, they could be downright scary.
Reese’s lips began to twitch. “Um….” She reached up and plucked the garland from Tiana’s hair. “You hugging tree’s again?”
Tiana laughed and took the garland from Reese. “It’s almost Christmas. Monica was having the kids decorate the library tree, so I helped out a bit. Maybe a bit too much.”
The sadness crept back into Reese’s face. “Christmas.” She murmured. She got up and went back to the window. Tiana came and stood beside her. The houses that lined the streets began to turn on their Christmas lights, the garlands that hung across the streets started to light up and you could clearly see the season was in full swing now. Reese’s eyes had been blind to it earlier as she had been so lost in thought.
“I forgot it was Christmas.” She said sadly.
Tiana laid a hand on Reese’s arm. “Did you and Marlon celebrate?” she asked tentatively. Marlon was a hot button topic, and she never knew if Reese was going to collapse in tears or tear up the room.
“We did. Once.” She said. “It was shortly after we first met. He was my jailor. I was accused of witchcraft.” Her eyes took on that far away look again. “We were in North Carolina.” Reese’s mind drifted back to that night as she told Tiana about it.
**
Reese huddled on the small cot, trying to keep warm. She had tucked her feet up under her skirts and wrapped the poor excuse for a blanket around her shoulders. If she didn’t move, it was almost bearable. Almost.
She heard the clank of the jail door and raised her head just a bit. She peaked out from under her hair and saw that the day jailor was leaving, and the night jailor was starting his shift. Marlon was his name. She had been talking to him for the past few weeks, every night, until dawn. He was nice and treated her with a respect she wasn’t used too. One that the town didn’t feel she deserved. Once the day jailor was gone, she sat up straighter and brushed back her hair.
“Hi.” She said. Her voice was raspy and hoarse. They only allowed her one tin cup of water every 4 hours. She had saved her one cup of water to help choke down the dry crust of bread they gave her for midday meal. The only meal she had each day.
“Hi.” He answered.
“I wasn’t expecting you tonight.” She smiled.
“I offered to work so John could be with his family. It is Christmas.” Marlon stoked up the old pot-bellied stove and the room got increasingly warmer. He grabbed a blanket from the wooden box at the end of the night jailors bed and took it over to Reese’s cell. He handed it to her through the bars. She scrambled off the bed and wrapped it tightly around her. It almost touched the ground, but Marlon could see her bare feet sticking out. She looked so small and helpless. He knew what the townsfolk said about her, but the woman he had gotten to know over the past few weeks was the farthest thing from the evil they accused her of. Reese, a bit warmer now, slowly walked over to the small window in her cell. She peered out between the bars and saw people moving about the town. She could hear singing faintly and the shout of children as they ran around their parents.
“It’s Christmas?” she asked. “I’ve been here that long?” she sat on the bed and tucked her feet up under her. She still shivered uncontrollably, but her teeth had stopped chattering together.
Marlon poured a cup of hot coffee from the pot on the stove and took it to her.
“Here.” He said as he held it between the bars. She got up and took the cup, but she was shaking so hard that she spilled it all over her hands.
“OW!” she cried out. She immediately looked up at Marlon. “I’m sorry!” she exclaimed. The day jailor was free with his whip when she dropped something or didn’t do things as fast as he would like. She knew Marlon would never hurt her, but it was habit.
Marlon let out a heavy sigh. He walked over to the door to the outside and locked it. He then grabbed the keys from the desk and came back to her cell.
“I’m going to let you come sit by the stove until you warm up. Don’t make me regret it.” He unlocked the door to her cell and opened it. She stared at him. He stood before her, nothing between them but air. Her heart sped up just a little and she stepped out of the cell. She could have overpowered him, she could have breathed the life right out of him, but she didn’t. She walked slowly over to the chair he had pulled up beside the stove and sat down. Letting the warm envelope, her, she stretched out her feet towards the stove and wiggled her toes, getting the circulation flowing again. Marlon again handed her the cup of coffee and this time she held onto it. He pulled up a chair and sat across from her. He put his feet up on the desk and leaned the chair back on two legs.
“What did you used to do for Christmas, before…well, before here?” he asked. Reese looked at him blankly.
“I didn’t even know what Christmas was until I came to this town. I have never celebrated it, or even heard of it. I knew nothing of this Saviour you all speak of. I knew there was something much bigger, much more powerful than I, out there, I just never knew His name.”
She sat the coffee cup down and folded her hands in her lap. “The woman talked of him as if he were their father. They called him God the Father. When I asked them to tell me about him, they called me heathen, witch.”
Reese pulled her feet back and crossed her legs on the chair. “I went to their church once. I could feel the energy, the power, swirling around them, but they seemed so unaware of it. They kept praying and asking for signs, from their Almighty, as proof of his existence, but they refused to see what He had already put in front of them. I pointed it out to the Preacher and was told to never come back. So, no, I have never celebrated Christmas. No one ever told me what it was about.”
Marlon grumbled about the ignorance of the women in the town. They prided themselves on their piety and their Christian values but when it came time to put those values into action, they turned ugly instead. For the next hour, Marlon told Reese the story of Christmas. She listened to every word. When Marlon was done, she sat silently watching the flames in the stove.
“What do you believe?” she asked.
Marlon sat for a moment. He put real thought into her question. No one had ever asked him that. It was generally accepted that what the preacher preached, you believed without question, but the bible he read, which was the same one the Preacher used, inspired him to question, to seek knowledge, and to find truth.
“I believe in God. I believe in Christmas. I don’t believe that just because a person is different, it makes them evil. That is all I have to say on that.”
Reese laughed. “Always playing the middle ground.” She got up and wandered around the small jailhouse. “So, we are celebrating Christmas together then?” she asked.
Marlon smiled. “I guess we are.” He watched her walk over to the small tree that the day jailor had put up. It had decorations made by his children. It had small things from the jailhouse as well. A cell key, iron shackles, a misshapen star. She walked to the window and listened to the bustle of the people outside.
“Where are they all going at this time of night?” she asked.
“To church for midnight mass.” Replied Marlon.
“Midnight what?” she asked.
“Mass. It’s what they call the service every Sunday, but on Christmas Eve, they do a special mass at midnight, to welcome in Christmas. There are candles, the children dress up and act out the nativity, they sing, and then they go home.”
“So, they welcome Christmas as a community before they do as a family?”
Marlon nodded.
“Interesting.” She said. “What do they do when they get home?”
“The children go to bed, waiting for Father Christmas, the parents follow shortly after. Christmas morning, they exchange gifts, attend morning service at church and then go home for a meal of roast pheasant, and all the trimmings.”
Reese gazed out the window. “Sounds decadent.” The sounds of the townsfolk had died down and all was silent.
“Oh Marlon!” Reese exclaimed. Marlon rushed to the window to see what had caused Reese’s shock. Gently falling from the sky were big fluffy snowflakes. They settled on the ground and began to settle on the sill of the window. Reese stuck her hand out between the bars and caught some. When she pulled her hand in, they melted immediately, which caused her to giggle.
“It’s snowing!” she said. Marlon laughed at her excitement. She was like a child. He hadn’t really seen her smile the entire time he had known her; she hadn’t really had much to smile about. But in this moment, as she caught snowflakes on her fingers, all that was forgotten. She was smiling, big as could be, her eyes twinkling. They returned to their chairs by the fire and Reese’s face became thoughtful.
“Let’s exchange gifts.” She said.
“What?” Marlon asked.
“Let’s do as best we can and make a real Christmas. This may be the first and last one I ever get. Let’s do it the way you told me about.”
Marlon smiled. For tonight, he was willing to indulge her in anything she asked for. For the next hour, the two searched the jailhouse for things they could wrap up as gifts. A deputy’s badge, a roll of cotton, some kindling, and a beat-up bible they found in the bottom drawer of the desk. Marlon had packed more food in his lunchbox than he needed because he knew that they didn’t feed Reese during the day, so they spread it out on the desk, which they had pulled closer to the stove. Reese found two candles in the cabinet and set them on the table. She stood back to look at her handiwork when the church bells began to ring.
“OH!” Reese exclaimed as she jumped in shock. Marlon laughed heartily. “Those are just the church bells. Mass is over. It is Christmas.”
Reese ran back to the window and saw all the townsfolk, now quiet and solemn, returning to their homes. She could hear singing, soft and sweet. It was a perfect moment. The snow gently falling, the singing and the ringing of the church bells. She felt Marlon come up behind her. She turned around and didn’t realize he was as close as he was. She stumbled into his chest and his arms came up to steady her. She looked up at him.
Marlon stared down at Reese. Her body ran the full length of his, her face upturned towards him, her cheeks flushed from joy and warmth. He wanted to kiss her, more than he had ever wanted anything. He knew he couldn’t. He closed his eyes, reigned in his self control, and gently set her back on her feet.
“Merry Christmas Reese.” He said softly.
She wasn’t about to let this perfect moment go. She put her small hands on his chest, got up on her tip toes and kissed his cheek.
“Merry Christmas Marlon.” She replied. She settled back down on her feet and stepped back. “Let’s eat!” she said and clapped her hands. The moment was gone, but the magic lingered.
**
“We talked until dawn, then he locked me back in my cell. I still have that bible, tucked away in my trunk.” Tears gently rolled down Reese’s cheeks as she refocused on the window in front of her. She was back in New Orleans, standing with Tiana.
“Did you ever celebrate Christmas again; in all the years you’ve been together?” Tiana asked quietly.
“No.” Reese turned away from the window. “I think we both knew that it was a door that if opened, we could never close again. There was a connection between us, one that neither wanted to acknowledge. Now, it’s too late.”
Reese returned to the couch and picked up one of the books Tiana had brought back.
“The Malleus Maleficarum? Really?” she raised an eyebrow at Tiana.
Tiana sighed. The conversation was over. Reese wasn’t going to discuss this any more no matter how hard Tiana pushed.
“Sure, why not. Could be something in there.” She said.
“I knew the man who wrote it. There is nothing of use in this trash.” She tossed it on the table.
It landed beside the piece of garland she had pulled from Tiana’s hair.
“Merry Christmas Marlon.” She whispered. Her heart opening up for just a second, to allow herself to feel the connection they had.
Across town, Marlon looked up. “Merry Christmas Reese.” He whispered back.
-