The World of Myth Magazine

If it weren't for his exceptionally bad heartburn, Gary would have been perfectly regular in every measurable way. It was of course the one exceptional thing about him, the heartburn, that started the whole affair. After much prompting from his wife and daughter, he finally gave in and went to see Dr. Mantwaunee, the family's long time general practitioner.

After trying several solutions of increasing cost, including a diet change, an over the counter med, a prescription med, and finally, a special pillow so Gary could sleep on an incline, Dr. Mantwaunee recommended an upper endoscopy. Gary didn't like the idea, he had always had a strong gag reflex, but relented to finally put an end to this.

The appointment was scheduled for two weeks out, and foolishly made for three in the afternoon. This was foolish because Gary couldn't eat six hours prior to the endoscopy, which is why Dr. Mantwaunee had recommended doing it in the morning. Hungry, cranky, and a bit nervous Gary finally opened wide and let the specialist slide the camera down his throat.

Five uneventful minutes went by, then ten, fifteen; finally, Dr. Sanchez was ready to wrap up the whole affair when she gasped. Gary had taken his glasses off and couldn't see the screen. His daughter, who had taken the day off school to go with him because he would need someone to drive him home, screamed and then covered her mouth with her hands.

Gary made to say something, but Dr. Sanchez kept her composure and placed a hand on his shoulder and told him not to try and talk but motioned for his daughter to hand him his glasses and turned the screen so he could see it.

"Thanks Sarah," Gary said, taking his glasses and adjusting them on his face.

The screen came into focus where finally saw, to his horror, what had caused his daughter and a trained Dr. to startle. A tiny man was living in Gary's esophagus.

"What the fuck is that?" Gary said.

Sarah had never heard her dad swear before and was almost as shocked by that as she was the tiny man who had now noticed the camera and was waving up at them.

On a whim, Dr. Sanchez decided to try something.

"Can you hear us?"

The man nodded, smiling pleasantly as if he was being interviewed by the local news and had been asked if he liked his neighborhood.

"I am going to send down a microphone."

Dr. Sanchez called for the nurse to bring in a tiny microphone they used similarly to the endoscopy to listen to someone's breathing. She lowered that down through Gary's throat until it reached the man.

"Can you say something?" Dr. Sanchez asked.

"Yes, hello!" Came the man's voice.

Despite her nearing adulthood, Sarah couldn't help feeling a little surprised the man's voice wasn't high pitched as most tiny people's voices were in movies.

"If you can hear me, move the mic a little further down."

The Dr. complied.

"Well, I suppose you all will want to know who I am. My name is William Rodgers, but you can call me Bill. I've lived in Gary's stomach for as long as I can remember. I get by on the food and water he eats, which I know might sound gross, but it's all I've ever known so it makes no difference to me. I know I've been causing you heartburn Gary, and I'm sorry about that, but I don't plan on leaving."

"Get him the hell out of there!" Shouted Gary.

"Woah now, let's not be too hasty. I know the heartburn is annoying, but I'm fairly certain if I leave I'll die."

"Get out!" Gary yelled, badly muffled by the tubes down his throat.

"I think I can get him out with some forceps," replied Dr. Sanchez.

"Hey, come on!" Bill replied, punching the side of Gary's esophagus.

Gary groaned in irritation.

"I'm sure we can work something out!"

"Where do you go to the bathroom?" Sarah asked.

"Well, okay, you aren't gonna like this Gary…"

Bill never got to finish his thought though, as Gary groaned so loudly that it shook his esophagus and knocked Bill off his feet.

"Yeah, I thought you wouldn't like that very much. Still, I think I deserve to live don't I!"

Gary shook his head.

"If you try to take me out, I'm gonna do as much damage as possible!"

"I don't think he could really do that much more damage," Dr. Sanchez said.

"Oh yes I could!" Bill replied, throwing a shoulder into Gary's esophagus.

"Does it hurt dad?" Sarah asked.

Gary held his finger and thumb together to indicate that it hurt a little.

"Alright, I'm going in. Nurse, forceps!" Dr. Sanchez said.

It took Dr. Sanchez about twenty minutes to get Bill out of Gary. It was annoying, but relatively painless. Bill did die within seconds of removal. There was a small tinge of sadness in the room, but mostly relief. Bill's heartburn was totally gone.

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