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By: Edgar Ahlberg
Hey, folks! We're back with more writing advice. In this issue of Writing Woes, we will tackle more gremlins that infect our writing and keep us from being the best wordsmiths we can be.
Let's jump in to Grammar Garbage. Tell me if this sounds familiar:
I'm going to mall irregardless of whether you want to go.
I know I've heard people say this all the time and, though I don't want to be rude, feel compelled to gently let that person know that "irregardless" is NOT a word. "Regardless" means doing or feeling something no matter what happens or what the consequences are. So, when you add the prefix –ir to the beginning, you basically create a redundant nonsense word. Don't. Doing this makes you sound completely unprofessional and unsophisticated.
Another misused word is "nauseous." People use this word when they talk about feeling sick. For instance, "I feel so nauseous!" This might come as a surprise, but, when you say that, you are, in effect, saying that you are disgusting or nausea inducing. If you want to say, "I feel sick," then you need to use "nauseated."
EX. Wow, I feel really nauseated this morning!
Okay, let's move on to Manuscript Mayhem. Something that many, many writers do that detracts from their story is to include unnecessary action that, in no way moves the story forward or builds character. Look at the example below:
Louise cut potatoes at the counter, the steady chop of the knife creating a loud staccato in the empty kitchen. Once the potatoes were all chopped, she rinsed them in the sink and began to arrange them on a baking sheet…
Where is this potato chopping leading to? Why is Louise chopping the potatoes? The author gives no context or clues as to why this action is included in the story. Therefore, the action does not add anything to the story and should be cut. Unlike real life, fiction needs to use every single word of dialogue and every action that a character engages in to either move the story forward or to flesh out character.
Look over your own story and check for any superfluous pockets of action or dialogue that add nothing to the story. Then, take your editing knife and start cutting.
Lastly, we come to Publishing Pitfalls. A pet peeve that many agents and publishers share is "creative" formatting. Okay, people, unless you are submitting a particular form of poetry, your fiction should stick to the basics as far as formatting.
- 12pt. font:
Do not vary this. Any smaller than 12 and agents have trouble reading it, which means THEY WON'T. Too much larger and the agent is wondering why you've wasted so much space with a larger type.
- Times New Roman or a Courier font: While it may seem smart to choose a san serif font (ex. Arial), this can often make certain characters confusing like the #1 and capital "I." Plus san serifs are actually a little more difficult on the eyes. So, stick to a classic font like Times New Roman or Courier.
- One-inch margins: This is pretty standard and should only be altered for heavily indented portions of text such as large quotes. One-inch margins allow enough white space around the edges so that a reader's eyes have some rest time between lines and also leave enough space for a reader to make notes if they are holding a hard copy.
- Indent every new paragraph: This is a standard formatting rule that, to be frank, should go without saying. Always indent.
Well, those are some basic guidelines that hopefully will help you improve your writing and open up new publishing opportunities. Good luck and good penning!
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